I had my first biochemistry test of the trimester ( again ).

I say again because it’s my second time taking the class.  I try not to go hard on myself. At first I felt stupid, seeing the people I was with all pass it and I’m the only “dumb” one who failed it. UGH! But then I realized, I’m also the only one who is still adapting to a new country, new people, new culture, new language ( Not much new, but hearing it all professional everyday, MUCH NEW).

I studied every single day while I was taking it. Reading it, rereading it. Man, when I seen the scores of each exam I took, I felt utterly stupid. How could I not remembered anything? Then I realized I was studying incorrectly. I’m no longer reading in English, where everything I read will stay in my head if I analyzed it correctly. When I read in Spanish, I read not to understand what it said, but to just remember what it says. I’ve learned not to, though. If I don’t get what it says, I’ll look up videos. I’ll look it up online, I’ll even type the whole thing in google-translate if I have to.

It’s frustrating. Frustrating that I can’t learn my language fast. I learned English in a matter of 3 months. Okay I’m joking, it took me a couple of years of ESL classes, but sometimes I feel like people look at me like I’m so type of special ed kid. I don’t look like a white girl ( that’s usually what they will consider someone from the USA or not from here), so they instantly assume that I’m retarded when I mess up a word, or speak in front of the whole class and stutter, because they don’t know my background. They assume that because I LOOK Spanish, I HAVE to KNOW Spanish. Which I do, just not as perfect as them.

When I was in the states, I thought I knew Spanish perfectly. I translated for foreign kids who didn’t know. But the Spanish language  Hispanic kids learn out there, by hearing their parents speak it to them, does not compare to the Spanish language people in Spanish countries use. Same goes to the English, in Bilingual Schools, in Central America. It will never compare to English spoken in a country who has it as their main language.

Anyway! Back to why I was writing this in the first place.

 I feel I did much better. I really did study, grabbed on to this much faster with the help of technology. I can look up everything I don’t understand after reading it and comprehend much faster instead of re-reading the paragraphs 5x (I used to go to sleep at 3-4 am studying 3 chapters).

I’m much confident, and failing a class for the first time had taught me how to prepare myself.

Failing a class doesn’t always mean you’re “stupid”, actually it NEVER does mean that. It also doesn’t always mean you failed because you were lazy. Sometimes it just means you just didn’t know how to study, because everyone has a different method of doing it.

I found my method, what’s YOURS?


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